Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex – One of the Most Thorough Sex Manuals Ever!

Nina Hartley’s Awesome Sex Guide
First and foremost, I must admit that I am a sex book junkie. I love books, I love sex, and the marriage of the two, when done right, can send this self-proclaimed sex geek over the edge. It’s phenomenal. I could take a picture to display just a portion of the sex-related books and DVDs (yes, I own those too) I hoard, but you’d think I was a sex-a-holic. (Not to say I’m not, but if I am, I haven’t fully accepted it, so I’ll admit there’s a tiny bit of a chance I’m in denial.)

Either way, I happened upon Nina Hartley by way of an interesting conversation with a male friend of mine. He’s an open-minded sexually free spirit, so I tend to trust his opinion on these matters. When he mentioned her name, I was reminded of all the times I’ve leafed through a Playboy Store catalog or “window-shopped” sexual material on Amazon and totally skipped over her products. Considering our sexually wild kindred spirits, I decided to take his advice just a little and checked out Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex (a book, though he preferred DVD). Needless to say, I was not disappointed.

Quick Summary:

Nina Hartley, bisexual adult film star, discusses the ins and outs of sex for a general adult audience that desires to improve sexual knowledge and performance with a lover (or two – and maybe three or more at once) or by and for themselves. Chapters are broken down to discuss various sexual topics in a detailed, unhurried manner that aims to provide an exhaustive account of the subject that can enhance, refresh or enlighten the reader’s current knowledge.

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex: Candid Book Review
Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex was one of the most comprehensive and entertaining sex-related reads I’ve experienced in quite some time. Hartley and her co-author, I.S. Levine, clearly know how to describe and explain the sex goddess’ teachings in a manner that’s lighthearted, friendly and even comical at times.

Pros:

* Unabashedly pro-sexual and liberating. A self-proclaimed “unabashed sexual liberationist,” Hartley encourages taking erotic responsibility for your “sexual actions and intentions,” which is empowering, especially if you’ve dealt with negative social and cultural conditioning about how sex and sexuality should be.

* Encourages “know thyself” beyond mirrors and masturbation. We’ve all gotten the proverbial suggestion to “look in the mirror and relate to your vagina” exercise, coupled with “masturbate often” as the primary path to discover your sexuality. There’s nothing wrong with this, however, the most powerful sex organ of all – your brain – is ignored. Hartley pushes beyond this helpful yet relatively superficial advice, and instructs you to candidly address your own sexual identity, as it’s “vital to establishing an erotic link with a compatible other.”

* Organized, entertaining and detailed. As a bisexual adult performer, Hartley literally writes from experience in an intelligent, candid manner that’s peppered with personal anecdotes and goes light on clichés. Thoroughly written and detailed, GTS is over 350 pages, separated into 18 chapters that are broken down and organized into 3 sections: Basics (including orgasms, masturbation, foreplay, sexual positions and anal sex), Extras (toys, swinging, threesomes), and Options (BDSM – and each letter gets its own chapter). Makes for an interesting read – or coffee table accessory.

Cons:

* Too much information for too general an audience. Though Hartley’s book provides an excellent resource for general audiences, I prefer specialized reads in most cases. It might have been useful for her to have three separate books- one book that’s for beginners and novices, another for intermediate lovers, and placed her extra kinky writings in an entirely separate book. Some of the information is at times too basic, and at others, too shocking, which, even if separated can throw the reader around.

* Not enough pictures. As a matter of fact, there really aren’t any pictures, which could break up the monotony of consistent (yet thoroughly engaging) text that comprises this 350 page sex manual. Then again, to be honest, I hate fuzzy black-and-white photographs; they make a book seem 10 years older than it really is.

Final Word: Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex is almost an essential requirement for any sensual connoisseur’s bookshelf. Witty, honest, engaging, and informative, Hartley’s paperback provides a near perfect intersection of sexuality, education and intelligence that you cannot find so easily these days. While some chapters might be too hot for some precious eyes and ears, Guide to Total Sex is one of the most authoritative and trustworthy guides to human sexuality you could ever come across.

Condom Style – How to Make Protection Sexy

Most guys have been drilled on the importance of condom use, and the more optimistic among them may even carry one with them at all times… just in case. But men will often admit that when it comes to the heat of the moment, nothing could be less erotic than having to turn the room upside down in search of an elusive foil package. In fact, it is not unusual for an impassioned couple to throw caution out the window and just hope for the best, rather than risk killing the mood with this annoying practicality.

But countless numbers of men (and women) have had reason to regret such a momentary lapse in judgment when, a few days or weeks later, they discover that they have been left with an unwelcome souvenir of the experience. While many STDs can be successfully treated, some are incurable, and all of them can cause a great deal of discomfort – both physical and emotional. In the end, it is much easier and more sensible to take the necessary precautions in order to protect the penis against contracting a venereal disease.

With a little creativity and a sense of playfulness, a condom does not have to seem like an accusation; instead, guys – with the cooperation of their partners – can incorporate the protective aspect into the fun and games without spoiling the mood.

Keep condoms handy

To avoid disrupting the festivities, condoms should be kept close at hand. Keeping one in the pants pocket is always a good idea, in case of spontaneous encounters or outdoor adventures, but it is also a good idea to keep the nightstand well-stocked. It is even a good idea to separate all of the foil packages to permit as little fumbling as possible when it’s time to get down to business.

Shop together for tantalizing colors, flavors and textures

For couples, a visit to an adult toy store – or just the family planning aisle of the local pharmacy – can be a titillating part of the experience. Condoms are available in a multitude of colors and even flavors, and trying different combinations can be turned into a game.

A variety of textures are also available. Letting her choose is a great way for a guy to show that he cares about her pleasure as well as his own, and she is more than likely to respond favorably when he takes her feelings into account.

For men who find that they have trouble controlling their ejaculations, sensation-delaying condoms can help them to hold off until they are ready, and guys who really prefer bareback may find that ultra-thin condoms give them the intimate sensation they want most.

Make the condom part of the play

Instead of viewing the condom as an interruption, it can be incorporated into the fun and games. For instance, letting her roll it on, at the same time using her fingers to stroke and stimulate, can make the practical side of an encounter much more erotic. Applying a latex-friendly lube can also add to a sensual atmosphere.

Boost penis sensation and overall skin health

Finally, supporting penis skin and nerve health is an important part of eliminating concerns that a condom will dull pleasurable sensations during play. A penis vitamin cream (most health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) that is specially formulated to lock in the skin’s natural moisture and to providing adequate nourishment to the skin and nerve cells can help in two respects. To begin with, vitamin E works to create a natural moisture barrier that may protect the delicate penile skin from irritation related to spermicides. Essential amino acids are absorbed into the skin, where they can go to work supporting healthy nerve tissue and maintaining optimum penis sensitivity. Vitamins A, C and D work together to keep the penis smooth, supple and responsive; this allows men to experience all of the pleasures of sex while still protecting themselves and their partners from potential problems.

7 Great Sex Tips That Will Get Your Love Life Buzzing

Many couples, particularly if they have been in a relationship for a while, find the sexual passion waning in their relationship. Here’s 7 sex tips to keep the excitement in your sex life:

1. Remember sex starts long before the bedroom. Women, in particular, need a lot more warming up than men. Start your flirting hours, even days, before, with touching, flirting and even suggestive erotic comments.

2. Watch a ‘soft’ porn, erotic movie together. You can hire these from your local video library or online. There are some wonderfully erotic movies out there. Two great ones are “Eyes Wide Shut” and “The Story of O”. Check the shelves in the Erotica section of the video store.

3. Spice up your lovemaking environment. Instead of “grabbing a quickie” just before you go to sleep (like you have once a week for the last ten years!), think how you can make your bedroom more erotic. Buy some candles and incense, throw a warm rug on the floor, perhaps have a ‘naughty’ pic or two on the walls. These are all things that will help make you feel more erotic and sexy.

4. Give your partner a sexual surprise. Bring home a porn movie and a bottle of wine without telling them in advance. Sweep them off their feet. Surprises are very sexy!

5. Go for a skinny dip in the sea at a private beach. When was the last time you did this together? Feeling the sea on our naked body is very sensual and will definitely put you in the mood….particularly if you recount the experience to each other later.

6. Buy a flavoured lube and use it in oral sex. If you’re not so keen on performing oral sex on your partner, try this. You can get them rom an adult shop or online and they come in a variety of flavours. It can make oral sex more pleasant – and fun!

7. Find the ‘secret love spot’ on your partner. Your partner probably has one place on their body that is exceptionally sensitive to the touch. Make it your mission to find it! Touch them there when you’re feeling flirty.

Being in a sexual relationship can be endlessly exciting. Many couples keep their passion alive by introducing new ideas into their sex play. Be adventurous! Seek out new ideas and ways to pleasure each other and your relationship will continue to deepen and satisfy the both of you.

New Adult Romance Ideas To Spark That Passion

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If you are looking for a new way to tease your lover in a romantic way, it might be a good time to have a romantic night in. Brainstorming about adult romance ideas can be tough, but it also can be rewarding. Not able to come up with any romantic night ideas, or any bedroom romance possibilities? Try out some of the following new adult romance ideas to help bring passion into your life.

Drop some candies in a trail leading to the bedroom, with a note attached mentioning a super sweet treat waiting at the end of the candy trail. Add a little bit of whipped cream, some cherries, and you will have a romantic adult dessert that your lover will adore.

If you haven’t already, go on a shopping spree at a sex shop, and try out your new toys once you arrive at back at your home. Indulge in everything from sexy outfits, to videos, to new handbooks full of sex tips, to more unconventional and kinky toys.

For wild couples, why not attend a nudist event? The laid back atmosphere, along with the sight of your lover’s naked body all day long is sure to please you. For the most romantic atmospheres, make an effort to look for secluded beaches, deserts, and forests near you.

Did you know that it is scientifically proven that the smell of a partner’s sweat will turn you on? Join a gym for the healthiest kind of foreplay around. This might not sound like an adult romance idea, but after watching your beloved work out, you’ll beg to differ.

One longtime favorite adult romance idea of many couples is to play dress up for an exciting sexual escapade. Buy a sexy costume, and become your partner’s fantasy tonight!

Ever wonder what it feels like to be a model? Spice up your bedroom romance by having your own personal photo shoot. Take turns with your partner taking erotic photos of each other, and then admire them later.

The Japanese Yakuza came up with an erotic way to spice up a sushi dinner – by eating it off a beautiful woman. This is a great way to enjoy your lover’s beautiful body.

Overall, the key to a great adult romance idea is to combine fantasy with reality. Adding a twist to the daily humdrum is all you need to do in order to have a romantic night you won’t soon forget.

Spooktacular Brew for the Sexless Marriage

October is a great month to brew Spooktacular desire back into the
Sexless Marriage or a virtually Sexless Marriage. Often times, sex
becomes absent in the marriage simply out of boredom and day-to-day
responsibilities which take over our time to be intimate and ability to be
keep intimacy alive.

These obstacles steal sexual desire a little at a time until sex becomes
absent in the marriage. Then, couples live in unhappy, and
avoiding marriages without resolutions. When the intimate connection
grows apart between the husband and wife, the couples can quickly find
their marriage suffering in a sexless dilemma hard to correct and even
harder to overcome.

Halloween is a perfect opportunity to break the ole’ boring routine our
marital intimacy gets stuck in and brew some life back into a sex life that
may otherwise be dead and gone.

Keeping sex alive in a marriage is about adding variety to marital intimacy
to keep it appetizing year- after-year. Otherwise, without change, sex may just
fizzle out and be difficult to restore.

Plan a surprise Halloween party for your spouse in the privacy
of your bedroom. No interruptions allowed though…get a sitter
lined up for a night Spooktacular romance. Then, allow yourself to
spend an entire night trick or treating in your private domain.

What an exciting way to add new adventure and variety to your love
life, not to mention, surprises your spouse and have a night of
breathtaking Thrills, Chills, and Goosebumps. A romantic Halloween
party, is an excellent way to break the barriers of a stale and
predictable love life.

So, get inside yourself and find that prankster gangster and plot
your Halloween bash. As the weather moves in to Fall, this is one
way to start warming the house for Winter temperature ahead.

It’s time to light the pilot in your marriage and set the
thermostat for new warmth in your martial intimacy. No since
staying stuck in a chilled bed night after night when it can
otherwise be different with a little work and imagination.

A surprise Halloween party is your time for a night of intimate
tricking and treating…not to mention, an opportunity to brew up
a potion to SCARE THE PANTS OFF EACH OTHER.

Furthermore, such an exiting bash is a perfect opportunity to
explore or introduce intimacy products such as warming lubes,
warming massage oils, edible powders, lotions and potions to your
love life. Complimentary lotions and potions certainly can
heighten pleasure and arouse desires that may be fizzled out.

Since Halloween is a time of pumpkins and spice, it is time
to capitalize upon both of these elements. Decorating for romance
and adding some Spice can be a new addition to your marital
romance.

Getting spark back into your marital relationship is about treating
your spouse to new and different experiences than where the two
have been and where the two of may remain.

Capitalize upon this holiday and use it to your marital benefits.
Allow your mind to be creative, daring, and adventurous as you plan
your night of Spooktacular fun….break those chains that bind your
adventurous side. Take the first step to enhance your romance if
the two of you are stuck, feeling bored, too tired, or experiencing
loss of excitement and desire for each other.

Do something you may have never done before, such as, buy an Adult
Costume or Novelty Underwear for yourself and your spouse. Then,
decorate your bedroom and bed to compliment your costumes.

Remember, the ideas is to set the mood by the costume and the decor.
If you envision slow and passionate romance, you might be the
naughty nurse for the night. Be sure and have all the medicine
potions to properly care for your patient though.

If you have reservations about shopping for an adult costume in
pubic, buy online. You can shop confidentially in the privacy of
your home. Or…if you absolutely are not a costume kind of
person…simply decorate your bedroom for romance.
What a fun surprise for your spouse and the opportunity to
restore some romance between the two of you!

Think back for a moment when you were a child, remember the
exciting feelings you felt as you waited in line to go through a
haunted house. You grew excited to the unknown ahead. You heart
pounded with uncertainly. Allow your mate the opportunity to
feel and view your marital intimacy in a renewed positive and
exciting Spooktacular light…..

Then, take your lovers hand and lead him or her into a night of
tantalizing passion.

Halloween is getting close…so start planning the SURPRISE now. No
matter how old we get, a nice surprise is pleasantly welcomed.
Putting together an intimate Halloween party can be inexpensive and
take little time….so get started now…we just have a few days
left until the romantic event…

Again, set the mood…be the sexy nurse, or firefighter. Decorate
and do not forget the Ghoulish necessities…to thrill, chill,
and send your lovers nerve endings over the edge.

Here are a couple of decorating ideas to get your creative side
stirred up….

Decorate your bed with a small strand of Halloween lights,
spider webs, and black rose petals…. but do not forget your
lover’s favorite candy to tease, treat and tantalize their body.
Remember, Halloween is all about treats!

In addition, add a few Spicy Pumpkin candles to the nightstand.
Scented candles will be a romantic compliment to the nights festivities,
not to mention, candles add an erotic aroma to dance in the air. Candle light
illuminates a bedroom for romance and bares a sense of warmth.

At last, complete your potions with warming massage oils, tasty lubes
and intimate toys for a Spooktober exotic experience.

Do not let this Halloween pass you by. Once again use this holiday to your advantage.
Treat your spouse to a night of Ghoulish fun and romance they won’t forget
and they will be looking forward to year after year.

Remember, adding variety to your sex life can rekindle an intimate
connection between the two of you. You can begin changing your
sexless marriage into romantic love life you both want and
deserve with a little creativity

The Naughty Niches: Potential Gold Mines or Business Killers?

Okay, so you’re looking for new ways to grow your online business and you can’t help but notice all those adult oriented matchmaking sites popping up (literally) all over the place. After awhile you begin asking yourself if it’s time to replace or augment your G-rated online dating affiliate links with companies offering something a little more seductive.

You’re thinking about this because you’re wondering if the membership conversion rates of adult dating sites will be higher due to the tantalizing personal profile ads they display and the desire of many viewers (single or otherwise) to see more details that are only provided to their paying members.

Or perhaps you’re thinking of going even a little more “X-treme” with the idea of sponsoring a particular fetish site, adding an adult toys area to your online gift shop, or writing a new eBook related to some exotic sexual taste.

Well before you decide to take the leap into any of these “Naughty Niches,” there are several other questions you should be asking yourself before doing so.

Question #1: Can I really make money being naughty?

In a Dating & Relationship Marketplace consumer survey we conducted during October through December 2003, over 27% of the respondents stated they had purchased lingerie or sexy clothing online during the prior 12 months. Over 20% of the respondents said they bought Sex Toys online during this same period. Of the 33 different product categories we tracked, these two naughty niches were the top two most cited categories for online purchases.

It’s no surprise that the growing acceptance of, and comfort with, making adult purchases online (due to the potential “embarrassment factor” of purchasing adult products in person) makes them ideal (although highly competitive) naughty niches for future growth.

And as far as making money with Adult Dating Websites, you don’t have to be the size of an AdultFriendFinder.com to be successful. Small sites like SexHookUp.com (which was recently acquired by AdultFreeway.com) claims to have been attracting over 300,000 unique users a month during its first four months of operation. Numbers I’m sure any webmaster would like to achieve.

So is there money to be made promoting or participating in these growing market segments? Well it’s obvious that some companies are doing quite well exploiting these most basic human desires. But before you decide to participate, consider the next question first.

Question #2: What will my existing customers think?

So now the real question becomes, do you risk driving away your existing customer base by offending them with adult products or adult promotional advertisements? In other words, could adopting a naughty niche strategy kill your existing business?

This is a real possibility and one you must consider before just adding adult products or affiliate promotions to your existing Website. Chances are the types of customers you’re attracting to your current Website don’t have the right demographic or psychographic profile for your new Naughty Niche offerings anyway. So why jeopardize your existing business by driving away proven customers. There is a better approach.

Question #3: Can I be naughty and nice at the same time?

If you think one of the Naughty Niches might be right for you, a lower risk strategy would be to develop an entirely separate Website to explore the business potential of your naughty ideas. This way you don’t risk your existing business. And if you’re worried about what your customers (or your neighbors) might think of your new focus, you can always experiment with your new niche anonomously. Domain name registrars such as Godaddy.com now offer private registrations that, in their words, “protect you from Spam, scams, prying eyes and worse.” Combine a private domain name registration with a pseudonym (if you’re a writer) and you’ll be able to “mind your own business” until you want to make your new business activity public. I’m not suggesting that you take this approach, I’m just saying it’s an available option.

Now if the above all seems too sleazy and clandestine for you, then you need to answer the next question honestly.

Question #4: Is a Naughty Niche really right for my business?

Whether, or not, you choose to expand or develop your business in one of these Naughty Niches is, of course, entirely up to you. And of course, like in everything else, there are varying degrees of “naughty” you can choose from. For example, a Website that offers erotic stories or sexual “how to” books is a far cry from a site that offers online personals and matchmaking for S&M aficionados. At the end of the day, it’s really a matter of your own comfort level with whatever area you choose to do business in. Bottom line, if you’re ever in doubt about whether to get into a certain business, or not, a simple test you can use to make your decision is to imagine how it would look if your business activities were printed on the front page of your local newspaper. If you’d be comfortable with the public disclosure, then you should have nothing to be ashamed of. Otherwise, you may want to choose another product or service to build your business around and leave the Naughty Niches to others.

So what’s the answer?

Human nature being what it is, there will always be money to be made targeting any niche having to do with sex. The Internet has made access to “all things naughty” easier and, to some extent, more mainstream than ever before. Can joining the Naughty Niche gold rush be the strategy that takes your business to new levels of profitability, or will it be a strategy that ultimately kills your goose that’s already laying your golden eggs. The answer will be different for every business owner. Only the questions will remain the same.

Sexy and Romantic Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Men and Women

Now Christmas is over – that time of year when we spend our time and money on our family and friends. Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching – the time of year to spend time and money on yourself and your lover.

Sexy lingerie is a Valentine’s Day gift that pleases both of you. What makes lingerie such a sought after and much-given Valentine’s Day gift – more treasured than chocolates, flowers, stuffed animals and even jewelry? Lingerie says, “I love you and I want you.” It says, “You are beautiful and deserve to wear beautiful things. I think you are desirable.”

Sexy clothing is not THE only Valentines Day gift you should give her. If your lover is a chocolate fiend then you better get her some fancy chocolates too – and flowers are never a waste, but opt for two or three smaller boquets around the room instead of one big overbearing grouping. Choose different types of flowers – daisies, wild flowers, carnations – with maybe one rose tied with a ribbon. The rose will be romantic and the hardier flowers will last longer. Think about adding a slim book of erotic stories, some massage oil, adult toys or a special piece of jewelry with an encrypted romantic inscription.

Take the time to write a note to tell her or him exactly what it is about your relationship that turns you on. Don’t be afraid to get a little naughty – it will be remembered for many years to come.

From a practical standpoint, it can be hard for guys to know what kind of lingerie to choose or what size to buy. If you make a purchase at a lingerie store the clerks can often help by showing you what is popular or suggesting lines in your price range. They may even have size guides to help, but try to sneak into your gal’s dresser beforehand and check out the size on something similar to what you want to buy.

A short internet search for “Lingerie Shopping Tips” can also give you many pointers and ideas. If all else fails, a gift certificate for a shopping trip date to Victoria Secret can help you make your own decision for her birthday – or anniversary – or Christmas. You get the idea.

Many lingerie stores on the web have people qualified to help too. Try using the customer service or “contact us” buttons on a lingerie website. Usually an honest description of your gal with size ranges or measurements can help the sales person narrow down the selection for you. Most people in the lingerie business are very accustomed to helping men and women pick just the right sexy lingerie outfit from the hundreds of thousands available.

Whatever you decide to do, make it personal. Take time to think about your girl or guy and what romantic times you have had in the past or have discussed as fantasies. You do not have to spend a lot of money to make the day unforgettable. The thought that you put into doing something unique and loving is much more important than the price tag.

Copyright 2006 Katie Rose Intimates Sexy Costumes and Lingerie

Katie Rose is the owner of Katie Rose Intimates Sexy Costumes and Lingerie [http://www.katieroseintimates.com/] – A fine lingerie shop featuring romantic Valentine’s Day gifts, fantasy clothing, leather and lace and intimate apparel in sexy, erotic, romantic and unique styles – with special attention for the plus size woman.

New Adult Romance Ideas To Spark That Passion

If you are looking for a new way to tease your lover in a romantic way, it might be a good time to have a romantic night in. Brainstorming about adult romance ideas can be tough, but it also can be rewarding. Not able to come up with any romantic night ideas, or any bedroom romance possibilities? Try out some of the following new adult romance ideas to help bring passion into your life.

Drop some candies in a trail leading to the bedroom, with a note attached mentioning a super sweet treat waiting at the end of the candy trail. Add a little bit of whipped cream, some cherries, and you will have a romantic adult dessert that your lover will adore.

If you haven’t already, go on a shopping spree at a sex shop, and try out your new toys once you arrive at back at your home. Indulge in everything from sexy outfits, to videos, to new handbooks full of sex tips, to more unconventional and kinky toys.

For wild couples, why not attend a nudist event? The laid back atmosphere, along with the sight of your lover’s naked body all day long is sure to please you. For the most romantic atmospheres, make an effort to look for secluded beaches, deserts, and forests near you.

Did you know that it is scientifically proven that the smell of a partner’s sweat will turn you on? Join a gym for the healthiest kind of foreplay around. This might not sound like an adult romance idea, but after watching your beloved work out, you’ll beg to differ.

One longtime favorite adult romance idea of many couples is to play dress up for an exciting sexual escapade. Buy a sexy costume, and become your partner’s fantasy tonight!

Ever wonder what it feels like to be a model? Spice up your bedroom romance by having your own personal photo shoot. Take turns with your partner taking erotic photos of each other, and then admire them later.

The Japanese Yakuza came up with an erotic way to spice up a sushi dinner – by eating it off a beautiful woman. This is a great way to enjoy your lover’s beautiful body.

Overall, the key to a great adult romance idea is to combine fantasy with reality. Adding a twist to the daily humdrum is all you need to do in order to have a romantic night you won’t soon forget.

7 Great Sex Tips for Couples To Keep Things Sizzling in the Bedroom

It is a proven fact that for most couples their sex life wanes in its excitement over time. However it doesn’t need to be that way. As with everything else in life, if you want your love life to stay healthy you need to put in a bit of effort and thought. With a bit of creativity and adventure you can keep your love life growing in passion and excitement. Here are seven proven tips:

Use massage oil. There are some wonderful scented oils you can now get that are not greasy. Use one to get each other relaxed and feeling sexy with a great massage.

Talk about a fantasy. Virtually everyone has fantasies. They are perfectly normal and healthy. So rather than leave them in your mind, share them with your partner. You might be surprised how sexy it makes you both feel!

Be flirty. Remember back to when you first got together, the freshness and newness of getting to know each other. Recreate those highly sexually charged early days with some playful flirting.

Have a naughty text conversation. This is like flirting over the cell phone, but take it a bit further and tell your partner what you would really like to do to them (and have them do to you). Just don’t let the kids have your phone!

Plan an erotic evening out. Sure, it’s easy to find a nice restaurant or club if you’re wanting a night out, but why not take it a further (erotic) step. Go for a browse in an adult shop and pick out a couple of ‘interesting’ toys. And how about visiting a swingers club? You don’t need to take part in anything, but even just watching can be fun and you’re bound to meet some other erotically minded people.

Plan an erotic evening in. A nice bottle of wine, some candles, rugs, incense and an erotic movie – all the ingredients of a wonderful night at home.

Push outside the comfort zone. Why not agree to push beyond your sexual boundaries and try something new? Start by talking about your fantasies and see what ideas come from there. You may say you only want to ‘keep’ them as fantasies, but wouldn’t it be interesting to explore them for real? You never know, it might be amazing!